Gluten-Free Orange Cornmeal Muffins

I hadn’t baked in two and a half weeks. My mind was spinning off in circles, and my body was only starting to recover. I had a sinus infection. Saying it like that sounds so simple, so easy. This? Anything but. I’d missed too much school to know what was going on in any of my classes. I couldn’t quite focus, falling just short enough that I couldn’t really process what I was reading. I came away with a general gist, rather than my normal understanding. It was foreign, and a bit frustrating. My thoughts were scattered. The lightheaded episodes of my past came back. Over-the-top exhaustion came back. Crashing hard; that came back too. I’d get a moment of clarity, then everything else regained it’s typical confusion. I’m not a fan of all of this, but I could manage it. What I couldn’t handle? No baking.

We all have a refuge. Maybe you read a good book. Maybe you draw, paint or write. Maybe you dance. Maybe you quilt. Me? I bake. It’s second nature. It’s my comfort, my joy. It is the thing I do when I’m bored, when I’m happy and when I want to give. It’s also what I do for me; not just for the result, but the process. The sound of the oven as I turn it on. The ease with which I pull open drawers and grab just what I need, without a single glance. That comfort which comes with measuring the flours, with beating the eggs. It’s the satisfaction of licking the spoon after the muffins have been tucked into the oven. Biting into the still warm treats and tasting the love. Tasting the time, the joy, and the comfort that banded together to make them. It’s my therapy.

These past few weeks, it’s also been my benchmark. “I’ll be okay if I can just bake” I thought as my mind began to emerge from the brain fog. In the past two or three days, where the brain fog has finally started to lift, my days have ended with collapsing into the couch, but I knew I had to try. I had the energy to stand, and frankly that was enough. The moment the flour touched my fingers, that all floated away. I was home. In no time, the muffins (or are they cupcakes?) were in the oven. The couch called my name as they baked, but this time my body breathed a relaxed sigh. The stress? It was gone.

Don’t get me wrong – this is a busy time and I’ve got a lot to do – but finally being able to do this one little thing? It made all the big worries go away. I’m working through the homework. I’m working through the quizzes, the tests. I’m getting back on track. It was a long and nasty sinus infection, but it’s just about gone and hasn’t added anything else to my health resume. I’m incredibly grateful for that.

This recipe just needed that last final test before coming to see you.  It was inspired by Garrett McCord’s recipe on Vanilla Garlic. It’s lovely. They’re muffins, which could sort of be cupcakes, depending on your definition. They’re not as sweet as a normal cake, but a bit lighter than muffins. Warmth from cornmeal, a slight orange flavour and always disappear in a heartbeat. No matter what you call them, they’re a winner in my house. My mom, dad and brother each came up to me separately to tell me how much they enjoyed them (and ask for another!). I even threw one in my bag this morning to make sure I didn’t miss out on the last few. They’re all gone now, but I have a feeling it won’t be too long before they make their next appearance.

I made these lovelies over the summer. They’re the 10 version. Sweet little domed tops! So simple, so easy. I love that they can be thrown together in minutes.

These ones decided to be cupcakes. Topped with whipped cream and a touch of zest? Oh yes. They left a smile on our faces :).

These were the 12 version. If you had to press me to choose, I’d go for these. They’re not actually any different in flavour, but I’m always happy to have more! My family is too.

We had a wide range of liners, but I couldn’t find any simple ones this time. Some were baked in Halloween ones, some in Christmas ones, and a couple more lived their short lives in a few we received at BlogHer Food.

I know I haven’t been around these parts much lately, but I hope that now that I’m getting better, everything will be back on track! I hope you’re all doing well, and that you’re fighting off the autumn colds. I should also mention that I’ll be writing a monthly column for Zenfully Delicious. My first article is on why being gluten-free isn’t a burden to me, so check it out if you have a moment!

xoxo
Lauren

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